The Four Loves: Eros

I found this reading very interesting. I like how Lewis points out the differences between Venus and Eros. While Venus is the sexual element, while Eros means "being in love," which can exist without sexual activity and which includes more than that. Venus also can occur when Eros is not present. Lewis shows how "sexual desire, without Eros, wants it, the thing in itself; Eros wants the Beloved." On a similar note, he points out that "without Eros sexual desire, like every other desire, is a fact about ourselves. Within Eros it is rather about the Beloved." I think it is interesting how this kind of love can make us forget about ourselves in favor of someone else, the one you love. It is important that we be able to focus on someone else, and to show love for them by putting that person before yourself.
But we must be careful about our love, which at times can consume our lives. As Lewis put it in the recording today, "love only ceases to be a demon when it ceases to be a god." We must not put our love for another person first in our lives: that place is reserved for God. We must be on watch so we do not fall victim to the overreaching that can accompany falling in love. Lewis talks about this also when he says, "When natural things look most divine, the demoniac is just round the corner." Therefore we must make sure we remember to put God first, both in the relationship itself and in all areas of our lives.
I found his thoughts on men "wanting a woman" to be very striking. His bluntness comes through when he says "one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes," in reference to a man who wants a woman only for the pleasure she can give, and not who she is. Directly following this passage, though, Lewis says: "Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman." I think this is a very appealing idea to women, because as we read in "We Have No 'Right to Happiness,'" they tend to favor monotomy. Thus, the thought that in Eros a man can solely desire the woman he has is quite encouraging in our view of men in love, as opposed to men in lust, who are more likely to treat a woman like a cigarette carton, whether he realizes it or not. In this way, I think that parts of Eros can help redeem parts of Venus.